I'm tired

It's exhausting having to keep it together all the time. All is well and great until the day is almost done and I'm folding laundry or sweeping. My heart breaks in those moments to have my love here. I know I chose this. I hate this feeling of utter loneliness... I hate never getting a break from reality. I know I should be thankful that I get to be home with my babies and for the most part I am-- just moments like these really push me down into the dirt. This is not easy and if you haven't had your love sleep away from you it's horribly disheartening.  Maybe I am slightly in a slump. I miss having him home with me every night more than anything on this earth. I could post about the trivial things but honestly this is where I am at. I am tired of pretending that this is all well and dandy. It really SUCKS.  I am blessed beyond measure and I am thankful. I am feeling so lonesome. I didn't think That the move we always wanted would break my heart. I also didn't know it would not include having my husband and our children's father not with us on a daily bases.