Beach body before and after

I wish I could tell you that this was an easy journey for me... It wasn't it was hard and worth it. With having been anorexic and bulimic as a teen weight has always been a problem for me.  My brain still sees fat even on my rib cage that I can clearly see bones.  That being said I have three kids. I had to make a choice be a great mom or set a horrible example of what a relationship with food should look like.

Back to my use of shakeology and the 21 day fix... I have seen incredible changes in my body!... I have muscles and energy! I have found a love for jaming as much protien and veggies into my face as I can humanly manage.  Giving up starbucks was hard... Then we moved and it was no longer an option! All of this has changed my life... Yes sometimes I have guilt about eating "bad" food. I will always have an eating disorder, but I also know it takes far more control to not binge and purge... Then it does to stay motivated and inspired to lift weights and move. So as a mom of three with a history of hating food I say that beach body was the best thing I could have done for myself and my family.


The diffrence from end of round one to the middle of round 2 with beach body's 21 day fix!

LOVE Is ENOUGH

My life at the moment is not glamorous in the slightest. My Kids are running around like small bulldozers or bulls in a china shop. EVERYTHING  I do is quickly undone by wild animals that are laughing like the hyenas off of the Lion King. So within all this chaos I am sitting here blogging instead of washing dishes or doing laundry.

The last week or so has been a great challenge. I feel down and I am not sure if its from utter loneliness or missing my husband... BUT I AM IN A FUNK!  I Miss FRIENDS that I could be in my grubbiest clothes a look like a slob. I miss having friends that love me for all my flaws. Making new friends takes time and I want friends! I want Play dates.... AND I AM TO UNDER CAFFEINATED TO BE A MOM.... WHY DO I LIVE SOMEWHERE THAT HAS NO COFFEE?????  Someone should make one of those little pictures that has a cheeky remark on it ....
Like " Why do I live somewhere that has no Starbucks??"


Throughout the  Lack of coffee and lack of people in our newly established life.  I find peace knowing that Jesus is here and I am never alone. My friend who recently moved to Canada from Mexico told me that I am never alone ;it was exactly what I needed to hear.

 "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
1Corinthians 13:7 ESV

LOVE IS ENOUGH FOR US TO DEAL WITH THIS HARD PART IN OUR RELATIONSHIP.






Pets????

We are getting a gold fish... Or more like being given. Aunty and uncle are moving far away(o.k. Only like 5 hrs.) to a small child that's far away. I've wanted a pet for so long; gold fish was not really what I was looking at. I am gonna roll with it. Not a huge deal since it doesn't require a ton of  care. I like to travel a cat still needs someone. I feel like this is a great start to having a new finned baby??? Since it can't be a fur baby!

Talk of the Town

Living in a small town I expected people to talk... Come on in reality we all are curious about the neighbour with the 3 kids and the husband that works away. 

 So monday I phone my mother in law and she tells me that she has something hilarious to tell me ... And that someone is telling stories... My brain is going 500 miles an hour and all I can think is " if someone is gossiping about my children running around in the nude they better realize they are children." So as time passes my in laws arrive for dinner. I needed to know... I needed to know NOW what the gossip was about me!


Get ready for it because it is rather scandalous.











Apparently  my husband leaves on Sunday and then all week I have "men" come over and visit me( what??? My father in law and the Internet guy????ALSO HOW WITH 3 kids?????) oh and mentally prepare your self for this part because its the best...I have an inflatable companion.  

By this point I am  rolling on the floor laughing because this is possibly the most obserd thing I have ever heard about myself! (I'm really not this scandalous) the best gossip is 100%untrue it's hilarious and Funny because I know deep down this elderly person was scared of the new neighbours... Whenever I see peeping into my home I wave with a large smile--- you may think I am diffrent now and that I have an inflatable lover... But I will love you even though you believe this to be true. I'm not hurt at all by this because honestly it was the funniest thing I've had happen. So I bid you a good night and I promise  no scandals to be had here.

Bucking Sheep?

I have a little boy that since we went to a rodeo(agribition) at the end of November; is obsessed with riding horses and becoming a bronc rider. As a mother I cringe at the thought of my son becoming a professional rodeo star...my knees will be toughened from hours of praying for his safety.  

Jeremy and I have managed to convince him that maybe we should start with mutton busting(sheep riding) he says "okay but they must be bucking sheep!" Really? Would you like more risk with your life young man? 

So today Papa took N to the city and A was horribly deflated so I asked him what would you like to do? He processed to tell me how he wanted to ride horses with his Aunty Courtney. So that's what we did and he was soo happy!  His smile looked as if it may break his whole face
 So as my night comes to a
Close I ended up with two very thrilled little boys! 

Sunrise

 When we were living in the city my whole  view was obstructed by the fact that there were buildings and people everywhere. Since we have moved every morning I embrace the beauty of the sunrise.  Maybe that will pass after we are in summer and the sun gets up far to early for anyone to function. For now I will continue to enjoy watching the sky go from dark to light. The beautiful colours that come from it. When the sun is just Rising above the horizon and it is so orange it looks as if the whole horizon is burning up.  The pinks that the clouds shine are beyond beauty. This morning I saw the beauty of what God has created and it was splendid.

Harder

 The title of this post could not even explain in the slightest amount how much my heart broke after kissing my husband goodbye for the second time. 

This weekend was rushed. It rushed in and rushed out. It was over... He drove away and my heart shattered into a million pieces of lonely. I know I expected this-- but I didn't know my heart would be so sad. He stuck around extra late so he could help with the kids. It felt like home. Now I feel so soo deflated.  He is an amazing dad and a really lovely husband.

Still Nursing

So I've been nursing my little lady for 13 months my goal was a year. There has been moments of "oh this is wonderful" 
To " I am going to get rid of my boobs"! Overall I am glad I've nursed this long and still am going strong!  Let's look at the pros and cons of this very challenging yet rewarding journey I've been on.

Pros:

• being the only one who can feed that brand new little baby!  Haha I don't have to share and let you rub all your germs all over my small baby. Keep you tiny little Germs from contaminating my small human.

•I need a break from visiting... Oh the babies hungry I'll be right back.
20 minuets later the baby is sleeping and I've been laying in bed watching YouTube for the last 15 minuets. 

• I love the idea of not spending money on formula and bottles. Milk on tap.... My milk shake brings all the babies to the yard(or my lap)

Cons:

• Okay so maybe it's not all it's cracked up to be to not have anyone else be able to feed the baby... Major problem * in the bath-- baby cries and oh yeah I am the only one who can deal with little miss squawky pants* 

•  supper is ready?! Wahoo I'm famished!!!! *waaahh wahhhhh* 20 minuets later--- supper is cold my family is fed.  Lucky me I get to eat alone and a cold meal. 

• SLEEP? I think this comes with any bottle or breastfed baby... WHAT IS SLEEP?  Getting up to feed the baby in the night can be utterly torturous. I am so tired of being tired. Little missy doesn't seem bothered by it.


At the end of the day I could continuously  talk about my qualms with nursing these last 13 months. My darling daughter is healthy, happy and growing. So pros and or cons life is constantly changing and she doesn't get up 5 times anymore and I get to enjoy her wanting snuggles. Overall I wouldn't change any of this last 13 months because it was worth it.



Rural life as a WANNA be single mom.

NO I DONT WANT TO BE A SINGLE MOM. As my life is right now I am playing the role 5 days at a time. I have been so busy I haven't had time to be saddened by the fact that my darling husband is away.  Day 1: first day of kindergarten and it was kinda nice to have him go on an adventure... He came home and was horribly tired(being good all day is exhausting)! Went to grandma and papas for tacos! The kids love WANNA be Mexican food. To top this day off my wonderful sister in law offered to come help me get N to school. Well in all reality I was overjoyed to only have to bring N to school not all 3 tiny melicious humans. I swear they plot ways to make me crazy and to make everything a tad more challenging. Any ways N wanted Aunty to take him to school. I quickly explained that mommy had to go to the school so I could fill out forms. He then said "maybe Aunty can pick me up from school?!" I said "I'll ask her when I get home" well obviously she was busy and I picked him up-to his dismay. We walked home and when we walked in the door all he said to me was "why didn't Aunty pick me up?" I proceeded to tell him that Aunty was busy. When it was time for supper at grandma and papa he went straight to where Aunty was and said " why didn't you pick me up from school." In a matter of fact/you disappoint me tone. I don't know what she said but we sure did giggle about how he was soo unimpressed.

Day 2:  we started play school and N stayed home that day!  A was so excited and had a glorious day! He said they sang songs and had a snack!  We invited grandma and papa over for supper. Spaghetti it was really the only thing I had everything for. It was good and everyone enjoyed themselves. HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY WAS NOT HAVING TO DO BED TIME ALL ALONE!!!!

Day 3: N had school again. He isn't as enthusiastic about school.... It may have to do with the extreme cold!-40 almost everyday...I am TIRED OF WINTER.

Day 4: well the weather was severely disappointing. SUPER COLD AND BLUSTERY!!! We had play school in the am with A and he was gone for 2 hrs. We played and chilled watching movies. It has been utterly chill with the lack of socialization I am getting with other grown ups.  We were invited again for supper at the in laws and it was sooo good!!!!!!! The kids ate and played. The roads were very gross and getting lots of snow drifts. One of my most anxiety triggers is driving in less that disirable conditions... That was last night so my father in law picks us up.(I am a big chicken! Haha suckers!

Day 5: TODAY is utterly the hardest yet. I know husband is coming home today and I can not wait to see him. Yes I have things to do like make supper, do laundry and workout but all I want to do is to give him a giant hug... I know we chose this. We chose to be appart for a while so we could take the steps to achieve the life we want but it's still terribly difficult. 

I GET MY FRIDGE TONIGHT WOOOOHOOOOOOO. Bar fridge held a few things but I sure missed having tons of fruits and veggies!
GET HOME!!! I miss you

Washing machine

I know this seems silly but I have never been so thankful to have my washing machine work. When we were getting ready to move we knew we had to move out our very expensive and beautiful(okay when your a SAHM you will understand) washing machine. As Jeremy and his buddy from work are loading it and then came the stairs. AHHHHH! I was so nervous because if I lost a washing machine or the washing machine crushed the nice man who was helping us...it would have been horribly tragic- death by washer. But it was SOO glorious to plug it in and to have it work! Yay for laundry! Except all the laundry that's clean and waiting to be put in its place is still waiting.  My washing machine is very very important to my life.  All the SAHM's will totally understand!